Sometimes I look back on the decisions I have made in my life and I wonder “hum if I saw the red flags would I have done anything different?”
This question perplexes me as I embark on a new chapter of my dating life. I have decided, for the time being, to narrow my dating options to just one man.
He is sweet and overly kind to his friends and funny as hell. Smart, good looking and well off financially.
He is totally into me or what he knows of me so far and has started to say things like “boyfriend”.
Red flag one could be that he is overly emotional and clingy but for whatever reason I don’t seem to mind his brand of clingy.
Red flag two is that I think he drinks a bit too much especially knowing the fact that he has a clinical depressive disorder that he has been medicated for.
Red flag three is that he has this weird symbiotic some might say parasitic relationship with a fellow trust-fund baby friend of his (don’t get me started on that dude).
Red flag four is that he has had more plastic surgery at 51 than any other person I have ever met. I worry one morning I’ll wake up next to Joan River’s (there’s a visual).
But with all of this ,and I know that I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and wonder if he is compiling his own list of “Red Flags”, none of the above Items change the fact that when it comes right down to it after only three weeks of dating I am starting to develop this little warm feeling in my heart for this guy. I can’t explain it. It’s like he has somehow shown me all of his faults up front and made me search for all his good quality’s and in that search I have developed a crush on him. It’s rather insidious actually.
My biggest concern going forward is what happens in the future when I am totally wrapped up in this guy only to find out that one day what I find in my Attic is not an Indian but a privileged, over medicated, over plastic, Alcoholic smoker.
My brain says I can do better. My heart feels that he is great or could be great.
Will I look back and think wow I saw that coming maybe I should have dodged the bullet or will I have missed out on the road less traveled and not have the joy of this beautiful mind in my life.
Such is life. All choice and no answers.
P.S.
Moving to a new venue and starting a fresh home of my own. Can’t wait.
